The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
