Don't you send me to vm
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
