in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
