So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
