Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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