She is in my trunk
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
