He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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