Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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