Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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