btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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