All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
