what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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