This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
