We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
