your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
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