how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
