Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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