i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
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Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
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I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext