and next time when you feel me up, do it right
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.