8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.