There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner