it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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