In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
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