I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
