Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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