We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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