Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I can't put those talents on a resume
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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