i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
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You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
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Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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