On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize