it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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