at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize