i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
