3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
