So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
