i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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