his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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