pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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