He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
