i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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