Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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