so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
