i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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