Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
