Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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