i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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