my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm getting married
To pizza
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
