its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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