I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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