The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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