i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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