I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
