K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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