So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
