3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
