mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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