well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize