im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
