True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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