I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
