Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
