I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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