I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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