I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
