you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
