No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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