so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
