carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
