I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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