My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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